Thursday, November 26, 2009

Kaiser Crowbar Gives Thanks

Supposedly, this is a time for us to reflect on the things in our lives that we're grateful for, like family and friends, having a nice house, blah, blah, blah. I just want some damn food. But I guess there are some things that I do appreciate.

First off, I am thankful for my beautiful wife. Not only is she the best, but she commands the four dimensions of the time/space continuum. Though she isn't too keen on me abusing such power, so I can't go back to the 1970s and destroy Rick Dees before he created this blight of human history.

By the way, no one should be thankful for that piece of crap.

I am thankful for sexy, large breasted women. You girls make the scenery much nicer around here.

I am thankful for Metal, without which, I would not be here and things would suck a lot more.

I am also thankful for those raspberry and blackberry gummy candies from Harry and David.  They're not cheap, but those things are the culinary equivalent to a ninesome (eight girls and me).

I am thankful for all of my loyal Steel Legionnaires.  You guys keep me going.

I am thankful that the local rock station plays Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" every Thanksgiving (it's a tradition).

I am thankful for Sword & Sorcery books.  No truer account of history has been written.  Forget American History.  I'd rather learn about the Hyborians, Atlanteans, and Lemurians.

I am thankful for video games for being so much damn fun.

I am thankful for RPGs for giving me a creative outlet and my favorite pasttime.

I am thankful for music, for inspiring me to this day.

Yes, I am thankful for my friends and family.  Without them, who would put up with me?

Most importantly, I am thankful for me and how fucking awesome I am.  And you should be thankful for that too.

Kaiser out

P.S. One thing I'm not thankful for - I have to go shopping tomorrow.  I swear, if some crazy bitch woman gets in my face or some punk ass tries to steal my shit, I will destroy them.  They won't need an ambulance.  They'll need a street sweeper.  Black Friday will become Blood Red Friday.

1 comment:

  1. Awww Kaiser, that was beautiful man! It was a struggle holding back the tears.

    Your BFF (that's "Black Friday Follower" Crowbar, don't get the wrong idea!),