Supposedly, this is a time for us to reflect on the things in our lives that we're grateful for, like family and friends, having a nice house, blah, blah, blah. I just want some damn food. But I guess there are some things that I do appreciate.
First off, I am thankful for my beautiful wife. Not only is she the best, but she commands the four dimensions of the time/space continuum. Though she isn't too keen on me abusing such power, so I can't go back to the 1970s and destroy Rick Dees before he created this blight of human history.
By the way, no one should be thankful for that piece of crap.
I am thankful for sexy, large breasted women. You girls make the scenery much nicer around here.
I am thankful for Metal, without which, I would not be here and things would suck a lot more.
I am also thankful for those raspberry and blackberry gummy candies from Harry and David. They're not cheap, but those things are the culinary equivalent to a ninesome (eight girls and me).
I am thankful for all of my loyal Steel Legionnaires. You guys keep me going.
I am thankful that the local rock station plays Arlo Guthrie's "Alice's Restaurant" every Thanksgiving (it's a tradition).
I am thankful for Sword & Sorcery books. No truer account of history has been written. Forget American History. I'd rather learn about the Hyborians, Atlanteans, and Lemurians.
I am thankful for video games for being so much damn fun.
I am thankful for RPGs for giving me a creative outlet and my favorite pasttime.
I am thankful for music, for inspiring me to this day.
Yes, I am thankful for my friends and family. Without them, who would put up with me?
Most importantly, I am thankful for me and how fucking awesome I am. And you should be thankful for that too.
P.S. One thing I'm not thankful for - I have to go shopping tomorrow. I swear, if some crazy bitch woman gets in my face or some punk ass tries to steal my shit, I will destroy them. They won't need an ambulance. They'll need a street sweeper. Black Friday will become Blood Red Friday.