Random Weirdness - Every Monday

Okay, these guys are going about this all wrong.  As any interdimensional traveler knows, you don't summon a hot woman from another dimension.  You go to another dimension and partake of the hot ladies there.  For one thing, you have a much greater selection to choose from.  You can mix and match sexual partners to your heart's content.

Second, if you're a loser in your own dimension, summoning a hot girl is not going to help unless she has amazing powers and she gives a damn about you.  Lisa from Weird Science (which is a great movie and a great TV show, as well) genuinely cared about Gary and Wyatt.  Good luck finding someone like that.  If you go to another dimension, no one knows how much you really suck, which makes this a perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself.  A nerd can totally go to any barbarian world and just tell everyone he's a sorcerer.  Whip out some techno-wizardry and the ignorant masses will throw gold, land, amd hot women at your feet.  A saavy individual could rule a world easily that way.  Hell, I've done it quite a few times.

Third, and trust me on this, you will get tired of these women.  Relationships based on nothing but tawdry, but extremely satisfying sex never last.  You'll start getting annoyed with the way she chews her food and she'll start complaining about how you "don't pull your own weight."  There's a saying I have to that extent: "Sleep around with the mortal women, but marry a goddess."  If you brought a hot woman to your dimension, only to find out that her feet smell like the ass of a bog when she takes her sabretooth tiger skin boots off, getting rid of her is going to suck.

Unless you have a way of sending her back to her own dimension, you're stuck with her.  And if you try to break it off with her, you better be ready for the violence.  Warrior women, hot cyborgs, sexy sorceresses, etc. get real pissed when you dump them.  They will wipe the floor with you.  If you travel to their dimension, however, and the women there aren't doing it for you anymore, you can just leave at any time.  This leaves you free to go to another dimension and peruse the ladyfolk there without any serious repercussions.  Just set it and forget it.

Despite these guys totally botching this up, this is an awesome video.  I especially like that hot cyborg.  I need to build me one of those and have her programmed to orgasm on command.

Sexy She-Devils from Kaiser Crowbar's Crypt of Doom

Of course, what would Halloween be without costumes?  And nothing says, "I really want you to think of me when you're screwing your wife/girlfriend," better than hot ladies wearing those sexy adult costumes.  Every year, my eyes always wander to the growing section of sexy female costumes they put out each year, mostly because the pictures on the front of the package shows  lovely models with plenty of boobages filling them out very nicely.

Are they slutty?  Sure.  Do you have a chance in Hell of getting your wife/girlfriend to dress up in one of those?  No.  That's not the point.  Okay, maybe it is, but besides that, it allows us guys an opportunity to, how shall I say, enjoy the aesthetic beauty of the female form in all its soft, curvaceous glory.  Is it okay to think of a girl who wears one of these sexy?  Yeah.  They got dressed up to look sexy.  There's nothing inherently wrong with that.  Just don't be a creepy stalker who follows the girl around during the party or tries to get down her pants.  You are not dressed up as a skeezy rapist for Halloween, and if you are, what the fuck is wrong with you?

Anyway, for all the ladies, let me make a few suggestions for Halloween costumes:

As for the guys, all I ask is you don't wear those retarded costumes that have some kind of crude sexual innuendo to them.  I'm sorry, but dressing up as a snake charmer with a snake coming out where your dong should be or wearing a lab coat that has "Dr. Seymour Bush" on the nametag will not get you laid, no matter how many beers she's had.

Kaiser out

Bayonetta Showin' Us How She's Built

You know, the more I see of Bayonetta, the more I'm starting to like it. I'm not just talking about the game. I'm talking about that sexy body of hers. Oh, yeah.
Baby, I hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you show off your ass! Forget about bouncing quarters off that. I wanna bounce my dick off it (or dip my balls in it?).
Goddamn! I love seeing tits and ass in video games. But seriously, Sexpie, you really should look a man in the eye when he's about to grab you in all the curvy parts.
Okay, my boner's going out of control. Can someone get me an anti-erection pill or a picture of their grandparents?

Right now, these images are all over the place. And who can blame these people? These pics are fucking hot. I've been interested in trying out this game for a while, but now I can't wait to play the demo.

Kaiser out

The Spirit - Now available on DVD

I plan on getting it when I get paid tomorrow. I started reading The Spirit when Darwyn Cooke started up the new series. I enjoy it for its pulpy kitsch and bevy of luscious dames. My favorite in the movie - Eva Mendes. Here's why:

 That ass is like a fine wine. I'm not sure how, but trust me on this one.