They Rose from Kaiser Crowbar's Crypt of Doom, or, Savage Zombie Ablogcalypse!

Yes, folks, it's magic time. Halloween is upon us and I saved the best for last. I have one more board game for all of you and I recommend, nay, demand under pain of death that you check out this game.

I don't remember when I first caught wind of this game. It was, most likely, when I was still working at a comic and game shop many years ago. In fact, I think that's right, because it came out around 2001. Seriously, though, when I did check it out on our store shelves, I knew I wanted to play it.

The game I'm referring to is Zombies!!!, and, just like Betrayal at the House on the Hill, it features players going around on an ever-expanding board that uses tiles to dictate the board.  A normal game of Zombies!!! starts out with the players at the central town square, and they have to explore a city infested with the undead.  You can find certain buildings that can give you extra health, extra ammo, or, if you have the right card, a new weapon.  There are two primary objectives to the game: either be the first person to kill 25 zombies, or the be the first person to get to the helipad (which is shuffled in the tile stack) and kill all nine zombies there to clear it off.  That's right, people, Zombies!!! is not a team sport.  Everyone is in it for themselves, and with certain cards, you can really fuck your friends over.

Which is part of the reason I love playing this game.  This is the truest test of friendship I have ever known.  If your friends can play an entire game of Zombies!!! with you, as you call each other the harshest of names after taking turns dicking each other over, and they still like you, they're a keeper.  Hell, I remember one time I called my wife something along the lines of "Harpy Bitch Queen" after she screwed me over royally.  She told me to fuck off and die, or something, and we both laughed our asses off.

So, the game works like this: On their turn, each player draws a card, if they used one and are below the hand limit (I think it's five), pulls a new tile from the top of the stack and connects it to the rest of the board, then they roll the dice for movement and get to where they want to go.  If they encounter a space with a zombie on it, they have to fight.  They roll 1 die (the dice are all the standard d6, by the way).  If they get a 4 or higher, they kill the zombie and add it to their kill count.  If they get 3 or lower, they can do one of two things, they can either spend an amount of bullets (each character starts with three bullets, but can collect as many as they find) in order to bring the die roll up to a 4.  For instance, if someone rolled a 2, they would have to spend two bullets in order to succeed.  Each bullet counts as adding +1 to the die roll, and you can only do it if you wouldn't normally make the roll.

If the player doesn't have enough bullets, or doesn't want to waste that many, they take 1 health worth of damage (players start with three health and can have up to five).  Should you run out of health, you lose your entire hand, half the zombies in your kill count, and have to start their next turn back at the town square.  If the player survives movement, they then roll another d6 to determine how many zombies they can move.  Each zombie moves 1 space per turn (into legal squares - there are some nameless buildings that are not considered a legal square) and only one zombie can occupy a square at a time.  Other than that, the player can move them however they like.

Needless to say, this game is fucking awesome.  I always look forward to a good Zombies!!! game, though I usually don't win.  And, if playing the core box gets a little stale, there are expansion sets that add on to the basic set.  Usually, these expansions add new rules as well as new locales to escape from the zombies, including a mall, a military base, a circus, a prison, a forest, even the sewers.  Adding one of these expansions is sure to keep your game going longer, though I only recommend using all of the expansions if you and your friends have an entire week to kill.

You can find Zombies!!! and all the expansions at your local store of awesome, or at Twilight Creations Inc.  The company actually has a wide selection of horror games to choose from, including a hybrid board game/RPG called When Darkness Comes..., which is very similar to Betrayal at the House on the Hill, but isn't out of print, so you can get it at a more reasonable price (I found a copy of Betrayal on ebay for $80.  Yikes!).  They also are releasing a Deadlands board game (Deadlands is an old west horror RPG and is also the predecessor to Savage Worlds).  Definitely check out these games.

I assure you, you won't live to regret it.  (maniacal laughter)

Happy Halloween, my Steel Legionnaires!
Kaiser out

Kaiser Crowbar's Crypt of Doom: The Beginning

Only ten days remain before the night of all horrors descends upon the cowering masses.  I love this time of year.  The offensive heat and humidity of summer is supplanted by the cool, dry airs of autumn.  The leaves turn to their dying hues of red, orange, and gold.  I'm sitting at my computer with a bag of candy corn (I love this shit).  The call of night sings in my blood, seducing my thoughts as darker things rise in my mind.  With that in mind, I kick off my tribute to all the games, movies, music, and books that get me in the mood for the season.  Welcome to Kaiser Crowbar's Crypt of Doom.

I'm going to start things off with a game I just played recently.  A couple of good friends from Iowa came down last weekend and they brought Betrayal at the House on the Hill.  It's a very unique board game that nicely captures the suspense and terror of horror movies.

What makes it so great?  Well, the game actually has two phases.  In the first phase, all of the players are exploring this haunted mansion.  Everyone wanders around, exploring rooms, trying to find items that can help them.  This game uses tiles, instead of a standard board, which has actually become a staple in a lot of horror board games (I'll show you more at a later time).  The players start at the entryway and must go through doors in order to reveal the other rooms of the house.

Some rooms that are laid down trigger certain cards to be played. Event cards are, usually, minor spooky things, like blood on the walls, a slimy thing grabbing your leg, etc.  These events can slowly wear down your physical and mental attributes, bringing you a little bit closer to death, or they can steel you for the real, inevitable terror.  Items cards are exactly as advertised.  Some are weapons, some are items that boost your attributes, and some are talismans that help you out in certain rooms.  Finally, and most importatly, there are Omen cards.  When these are triggered, the active player get a (sometimes) important item, but each time an Omen card is drawn, a haunt check needs to be made.  You roll some dice and if the combined number is above the number of Omen cards in play, then everything continues as usual.

If the combined number is lower than the number of Omen cards in play, then things change, quickly.  This is where the second phase of the game comes in, because one of the players becomes "the traitor."  This player is now the monster in the game and everyone else must defeat him in order to win.  Usually, all the traitor needs to do is kill the other players to win, but they could also win by other conditional objectives.

If that sounds too easy, there's more.  You see, there are multiple factors that dictate how the second phase is played.  First off, there are 50 scenarios in the game.  Each scenario has the traitor become a different monster.  The first time we played, one of my friends became the leader of a group of cannibals.  In the second game, I turned into a giant, two-headed serpent.  Another thing is, that no one, not even the one who becomes the traitor, knows who the traitor will be until the haunting begins.  Top it off with special rules for each scenario, such as the monster is invulnerable until a character uses an Omen card to weaken them, and you have a very interesting game every time.

This game is great fun.  Not knowing who is the traitor and when they're going to strike certainly adds to the suspense.  When the traitor reveals themselves, everyone else must strategise and use teamwork to survive.  Sometimes, the game can be one sided - there are too many zombies for the survivors to kill, or the survivors already have all the items needed to kill the monster.  It's pretty much up to circumstance, but that's part of the joy, because a part of you has to prepare to fight the monster and part of you has to prepare to be the monster.

My wife's trying to get a copy of this game.  Supposedly, it's out of print.  But I have seen some places online still selling them, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

That's all the terror for today, boys and ghouls.  I'll be back soon to let you all back into the Crypt.

Maybe, I'll even seal you in there, forever. (maniacal laugh)

Until then,
Kaiser out