Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How Awesome is the Brütal Legend Demo?

So, I played the demo for Brütal Legend over the weekend. I have to say, I like what's going on so far.

This really is no surprise to me, but Brütal Legend plays like your typical 3D action hackfest, just like Psychonauts played like a typical 3D platformer. The gameplay is solid, but doesn't try to innovate. But that's not what Tim Schafer focuses on. He's known for great stories with lots of awesome and funny shit in them, and Brütal Legend is proof of that. The characters are cool (though the demo only introduces two principal characters) and the dialogue is great.

Oh, and, of course, how can I forget that this may be the most metal game in history. The landscape, enemies, and soundtrack are so fucking awesome.

Needless to say, when the demo was over, I wanted more. I wanted it now. I still do. Rocktober 13th can't come soon enough. Actually, I still have to pre-order this motherfucker, but I'll fork out the cash with my next paycheck.

Kaiser out

Monday, September 28, 2009

Random Weirdness - Every Monday

I have to wonder. Why are there no big breasted women in this commercial? You're advertising something called the "Tiddy Bear" and you're not going show any double D action? Lame.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Games You Should Know About (But Probably Don't), or, Fairy Tale Zombie Apocalypse

I remember one day going into a GameStop and perusing the shelves, as I always do, when my eyes rested upon a Nintendo DS game that just screamed at me, "Buy this now!" Why? Well, the title was the first thing that caught my eye. In big letters, the game proudly announced itself as Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ. A name like that just sounds ridiculously awesome. I took a look at the back cover and, sure enough, the game is exactly what the title advertises. You play as Little Red Riding Hood or Momotaro (the hero who was born out of a peach in Japanese folklore) as you carve your way through hordes of zombies with an assortment of guns. Plus, it only cost $20. So awesome name, awesome premise, awesome price... but what really convinced me to buy it without hesitation was my penis.

Yep, my penis.

...because Little Red Riding Hood is so fucking boobiliscious. I mean, just look at her.
That's pretty sexy. Now, usually, buying a video game because your erection told you to is not a good idea. Lots of game companies use sex to sell their games. This does not necessarily mean the game is good, but, like I said before, awesome name, awesome premise, awesome price. I decided this was a safe bet. I was right.

This game is solid fun. That's just all there is to it. It's not too different from your typical shooter. Each stage has you constantly moving forward, ala rail shooters, but you can move left and right using the D-pad and the stylus. Zombies come at you and you mow them down. What makes this game special is it's own craziness.

Let me explain the premise in full detail. You are Little Red Riding Hood, we got that, but she's a sexy, gun-toting bad ass. She just got done blasting the hell out of the Big Bad Wolf and is mourning the death of the Woodsman, who died in the battle. Suddenly, the dead rise out of the grave and most of the world has been zombified. It's up to Red to take them down and find the cause of the uprising.

Along the way, you fight undead versions of classic fairy tale characters: Red's grandmother, a giant Pinocchio, the Three Little Pigs, Hansel and Gretel, even Santa Claus wants to eat your brains. The design on the monsters and bosses is awesome, with a macabre cartoony feel. And fighting each boss is a challenge. I think I had to try each one a couple times before I beat them.

The controls are both interesting and frustrating. At the bottom of the screen are seven squares that define your character's range of movement. Left and right on the D-pad makes the character move one square at a time, but there are times when you need to be faster than that. Tapping on a specific square with the stylus makes your character dash to that spot, which makes dodging easier. Actually, just about everything in this game is controlled by the stylus: shooting, selecting weapons, ducking, etc. You do so much with the stylus that you get hand cramps pretty quickly. Another thing is that, unless you have a really long stylus and hold it a funny way, your hand is going to get in the way of the touch screen, which means you can't see your character. Both screens show the action, with the top screen showing what's in the distance, but it's a pain in the ass to have my eyes contending with my hand while I'm playing. This is the biggest flaw in the game, because the bottom screen is just too damn busy to have your hand in the way.

So the controls weren't executed perfectly, but it is still a lot of zombie blasting fun. It does require some serious stylus skills, though, so get that hand working. For being a cheap DS game, it doesn't feel like you're getting some bargain basement crap or some shitty shovelware. This game is definitely worth a shot.

By the way, this game may look like it was an obscure game from Japan, but it actually was created by a game company in Spain. Believe it or not.

But this game came out last year. Why am I telling you about it now? Because I caught wind of a game coming out for WiiWare in December called Zombie Panic in Wonderland. Let's check out the similarities. This game features zombies in a fairy tale setting, a samurai hero, a sexy fairy tale character (Snow White this time), similar gameplay (although this game is 3D), and a very similar art style. This is more than mere coincidence.

After a little digging, I found out that Jose Manuel Iniguez, the studio director for Akaoni (the company making the game), was the producer and game designer for Zombie BBQ. He must have enjoyed the idea of zombies in fairy tales that he's making another go at it.

Whether it's a sequel to Zombie BBQ or just it's spiritual successor, Zombie Panic in Wonderland seems to have improved the control formula that the first game introduced. Movement is with the nuchuck, while the Wiimote aims and fires. There isn't a lot of info about it right now, but it does look to capture the insane fun that Zombie BBQ had (though I think that Little Red Riding Hood's Zombie BBQ is still the better title).

Kaiser out

Monday, September 21, 2009

Random Weirdness - Every Monday

My wife and I were going through FailBlog.org last night, which is kinda funny. I went back and checked out some of their videos and found a perfect WTF moment. Oh yes, I would love to have people laugh at me while they stare at my ass. Seriously, what the fuck?

Monday, September 14, 2009

Random Weirdness - Every Monday

Since I blogged about Contra last night. I figure I'd do a follow up with this video.

By the way, you know what WiiWare does for an encore after Contra ReBirth? They release more shovelware. This time, we get a stupid Texas Hold 'Em game, some weird puzzle game, and a game where you race around a supermarket to be the first to get all your items. Seriously. It's as if the people who make these games have no damn good ideas and they're just pulling shit out of their asses (Hey, I was watching Supermarket Sweep on the Game Show Network last night. Let's turn that into a video game.)

Anyway, here's the video.

Sunday, September 13, 2009


Konami have been introducing their popular franchises to the Wii. We've seen Gradius make a WiiWare return and that horrible Castlevania fighting game (when will you learn, Konami. Castlevania sucks in 3D), not to mention Solid Snake in Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Now, it's time for my all time favorite classic Konami franchise to step up. Of course, I'm speaking of Contra ReBirth, which was released this past monday on WiiWare. I haven't played an awesome Contra game since Contra III: The Alien Wars. Since then, most of the games have been less than stellar (primarily Legacy of War and The Contra Adventure - both of those games sucked). Then Contra 4 came out (I still have yet to play that one) which brought back the series in superb form. Now we have one for the WiiWare, and it kicks ass. It reminds me a lot of Contra III, with the ability to switch between two weapons on the fly and the return of the homing missile, which is tied with, of course, the spread gun as my favorite weapon. Bill Rizer is back, of course, but Lance is gone, literally. Lance went on a solo mission back in time to the 1970s and was never heard from again. Which leaves Bill and his new partner, Yagyu (from Neo Contra) to go back and finish the job. Everything I love about the series is back: shitloads of enemies, bullets, and explosions. Some of the stages are crazy. The first boss battle has you jumping out of your exploding spaceship to fight a giant space centipede, or whatever, while you ride on the debris that is burning up while entering the Earth's atmosphere (I'm not making this up, check out the video). Another stage has a bunch of purple, robotic, giant llamas that you can blow the heads off of. Crazy. This game is so much fun. It brings me back to the days of playing the original with my younger brother, as always, implementing the Konami code that everyone knows by heart (man, I did that shit in my sleep). Anyway, if you haven't played it, do so. And if you have a Wii, it's ten bucks, man. I swear, Contra ReBirth could wipe the floor with the other WiiWare games out there. Pick. This. Up. Anyway, here's some of that beautiful bean footage. By beans, I mean "wanton destruction."

Monday, September 7, 2009

Random Weirdness - Every Monday (Except This One)

In observance of labor day, I've decided to be completely lazy and post nothing up here today. Nope, nothing. Not a single, goddamn thing. If you don't like it, tough titties. Speaking of tough titties...

Friday, September 4, 2009

Hellfrost - Savage Worlds

After playing Dungeons & Dragons for so many years, I kinda got tired of playing your typical high fantasy campaign setting. A lot of the ones I've played seemed too derivative of King Arthur or J. R. R. Tolkien (not that it's necessarily bad, it's just been done to death). Plus, I got real tired of elves and dwarves, for some reason - I don't know. That's the reason why I'm more interested in the sword & sorcery genre. That being said, it takes something special for me to be interested in a high fantasy RPG. Obviously, that's what Hellfrost has, because I find myself wanting to play it. Hellfrost was made by Triple Ace Games, which is headed by Paul "Wiggy" Wade-Williams, who created Savage Worlds campaign books for Pinnacle Entertainment before making his own company. While it does have the elves and dwarves and lots of magic, Hellfrost does high fantasy in a way I can appreciate. The campaign setting doesn't fall back on trying too hard to be Lord of the Rings or any typical generic fantasy. Instead, it draws inspiration from what a lot of good fantasy relies on: ancient mythology (in this case, norse mythology). It's rich with nordic influence, which weaves beautifully with the setting. Sure, there are orcs, goblins, dragons, etc., but it doesn't feel like the same old fantasy world I've been playing over and over again. The story helps give the world it's flavor. Five centuries ago, the continent of Rassilon was locked in a devastating war. All manner of monsters from the frozen wastes of the north swept south through the land, leaving destruction in their wake. Though the failing nations eventually drove back the icy horde, the world slowly became colder over the countless years. An eternal winter is threatening the people of Rassilon, and the north has turned into a forbidding wasteland called, of course, Hellfrost. This game also sports a highly robust magic system that overhauls the system in the Savage Worlds corebook. I haven't gotten through the entire player's guide, but I like what I see. For me, Hellfrost is the best high fantasy setting for Savage Worlds (at the very least). You can pick up the player's guide, along with some adventure modules at the Triple Ace Games website. In November, they're releasing the other core books for Hellfrost: The Bestiary and The Gazetteer. While you're there, check out their other products, such as the awesome pulp action of Daring Tales of Adventure and the sci-fi/military/horror setting Necropolis 2350. Kaiser out

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A Fallen Soldier on the RPG Front

Not long after I had put a good review for the G.E.T. Into Action RPG, the publisher of the game, Daring Entertainment, closed it's doors. Their website is barren, save for a short and very final announcement of the closing. From what I've read of the company, it looked like they wanted to do more with the products they provided, like the use of videos, soundtracks, and interactive websites to integrate into their games. I can see the company had an interesting vision. It kind of gives me pause, because I hate to see independent companies in the RPG industry (especially those who make games for Savage Worlds) fold under. It's one of the things that I would like to do, and it really does sadden me to see something like this happen. You can still pick up any of their released products on RPGNow on .pdf (and I still recommend trying G.E.T. Into Action, if you're interested). To the people who brought Daring Entertainment to life, may you get back on your feet and back in motion, whatever endeavor it may be. Vaya con dios.