Monday, October 26, 2009

Random Cryptness - Last Monday Before Halloween

This one might mess with you.

Okay, so Halloween III: Season of the Witch was a fucking stupid movie.  Basically, this novelty company, Silver Shamrock, decided to create these masks and insert a microchip in there that has a piece of Stonehenge (!) embedded in them.  The company would entice children to watch their commercial on Halloween night for "the big giveaway."  The kids would watch a flashing image of "the magic pumpkin."  The kids would die (I guess from epileptic seizures?) and snakes and bugs would come out of their heads and kill their parents.  The whole purpose: to have a massive, nationwide human sacrifice for some vague pagan ritual.

Re.  Tar.  Ded.  Who the hell goes through this much trouble just to use these deaths for some ritual?  How the fuck did they get a stone from Stonehenge?  It's not like they can just go up to Ireland and say, "I think we'll need to borrow one of the stones."  "What do you need it for?" Ireland asks.  "Well, we were going to put pieces of it in these masks and cause a massive death toll back in the States, just for shits and grins."  "Oh, okay," Ireland says, "just bring it back when you're done.  We kinda need it because it is an important landmark that ties us to our rich and mysterious heritage, but you can borrow it for a while."  Not the least, though, how the hell does a kid who's been dead less than a minute start spewing poisonous snakes and crickets?  Yes, crickets, because they're so deadly.  Watch out for that cricket.  It may chirp at you.

How fucking lame can you get?

Regardless of how stupid it is, this scene did creep the fuck out of me when I was a kid.  When they're dragging the hero away, you can actually see guys with little hammers chipping away at Stonehenge.

Since I still got a buttload of topics to post about, I'm gonna do a second post later today. Stay tuned.

Kaiser out

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